Day 5: Cancer Schmancer

So, I thought I'd give you a reference point.  A photo so that you could see how this bump looked and how much better it will look in a day or two.  As you can see, it COMPLETELY ruined my neckline.  I look like I have a one-sided jowl.  Worse than Nixon or McConnell or McCain ever thought about having.  How was I to ever contemplate a turtleneck or a choker again?  It didn't block my breathing or eating and it didn't even hurt...though it would have severely wounded my ego if Fred and Tomo started making fun of me. I think it was the lack of symmetry that bothered me the most.  The lymph nodes on the back of my knees were also rather annoying but they didn't show up in photos.  The doctor found these bumps immediately, though.  She knew where to look.  I didn't even know where my lymph nodes were.  Come to think of it, I didn't even know I HAD lymph nodes.  Don't laugh.  Most human beings probably couldn't identify a lymph node either even if they DID stay in a Holiday Inn last night.

The dosages of the Prednisone that I get at home every day change every week. Two tablets daily the first week. One and a half daily the next week.  Then back to two.  Then there's the fish oil and vitamin C, zinc, selenium, vitamin E...What's really funny is that my mom stuffs them into little pieces of cheese or into a section of a tangerine and then I wolf them down.  She thinks I don't know they're in there.  C'mon.  I'm not THAT stupid.  I'm not like an English Sheepdog or something.  She did, however, go and buy one of those pill boxes that some people use.  The ones with the days of the week on it.  I KNOW it embarrassed her to buy it.  She probably explained to the cashier that it wasn't for her.  She probably blamed it on me, as if the cashier cares who the pill box is for.

Once again, this is where prehensile digits come in handy. You guys have NO idea how useful they are.   My mom didn't let me play with "my" pill box for very long.  She's seen what I can do to a perfectly good Cole Haan so she took it away from me.  Each section has all the pills I need to take every day.  According to my mom, she never worried about whether or not she was taking prescribed medications as indicated but if she screwed up, it wouldn't kill her.  It might have kept her sicker longer but these pills seem to be important to her and me.  She could have picked a color other than purple but beggars can't be choosers.  I've never really been a beggar, though, so that should throw that theory out the window.  And about those prehensile digits, my feathered sibling, Douglas Macaw-thur, could have easily opened this little bugger.  You should see what she can do with Tupperware.  But more on her tomorrow.

Fred and Tomo seem to be taking this in stride, although they KNOW that I am getting scrambled eggs for breakfast and organic ground beef mixed in with my regular dinner.  They sort of look at mom with longing in their eyes and she throws them an extra orange segment.  Does she really think they don't know the difference between ground beef and oranges?  I AM feeling a little sluggish but, hey, I'm almost 10 years old.  That's 70 in your years so cut me some slack. I took a short romp around the paddock tonight and it wore me out.

Fred tried to make me feel better tonight. He tried to demonstrate the proper way to wear a bandanna should my hair start to fall out.  I TOLD him it doesn't happen to dogs but sometimes Fred just doesn't listen.  Or maybe he just likes to be a clown.  I know he's my brother and humans have this "sibling rivalry" thing sometimes but Fred's just such a goofball.  And we all humor him.

Tomodachi has been rather morose lately.  Her name means "friend" in Japanese and I believe she's part Shiba Inu and we think the whole mess in Japan is starting to bother her.  As with most Japanese, though, she refuses to let it show.  I know that people think dogs can't see TV because of some stupid line from a Tom Hanks movie but Hootch was a slobbery Dogue de Bordeaux and maybe because he was French he couldn't watch TV.  But I can and do watch TV.  There was a story from a Japanese TV station about two dogs who survived the tsunami and one of the dogs refused to leave his injured friend's side. That's just how we K9's roll. My mom watches the TV coverage and she just cries.  She feels sad about all the oba-chans who simply disappeared, with no trace left that they even existed. 

So Day 5 was just peachy.  I'm thinking I can milk this for steak and eggs for the whole 6 months.  I can look sad.  I can act tired.  That Colin Firth ain't got nuthin' on me and besides, he's British.  We Welshmen have Anthony Hopkins, Ray Milland, Richard Burton, and John Rhys-Davies.  Forget Catherine Zeta-Jones.  Welsh people just don't look like her. She's a genetic anomaly for a Welshman.